Speaking With Confidence

Building Real Confidence and Communication Skills for Gen Z with Nick Batchelder

• Tim Newman • Season 1 • Episode 75

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How can young adults overcome overwhelm and start communicating with genuine confidence in today’s digital age?

Today, I’m thrilled to be joined by Nick Batchelder—a 21-year-old author, podcaster, and speaker who’s committed to making sure fewer people reach their 30s saying, “I wish I would have done more in my 20s.” Nick brings a rare peer perspective to personal development, focusing on the unique challenges and strengths of people in their 20s and early 30s. He’s already written a book, built a growing podcast, and spoken to countless young adults about their hurdles with confidence, communication, and taking action. Nick’s insights aren’t just theoretical—they’re born from real, relatable experience.

In our conversation, Nick and I explore a topic central to both of our work: what’s really holding back Gen Z and young millennials when it comes to building confidence in communication? Why—despite being the most connected and entrepreneurial generation—are so many young people struggling with the basics of interpersonal interaction? Nick shares what he sees on the frontline with his peers, from the overwhelming abundance of choices in the digital era to the comfort (and isolation) that comes with virtual living. We candidly talk about why it’s now easier than ever to avoid in-person interactions, and how that avoidance is quietly eroding essential soft skills.

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

  • The impact of digital life on interpersonal communication skills in young adults
  • Why overwhelm from too many choices leads to avoidance and inaction
  • The difference between being aware of what needs improvement and actually taking steps to improve
  • How to use playfulness and improv to rapidly develop communication confidence
  • Avoiding the trap of memorized scripts, and why thinking on your feet builds more resilience
  • The real reasons young adults don’t act on the changes they know they need fear, laziness, and lack of structure
  • How generational differences in upbringing (free play vs. constant supervision) impact adult communication and confidence
  • Nick’s experiences with peer feedback, criticism, and staying grounded amid public scrutiny
  • The double-edged sword of social media curation and self-image
  • Tangible ways to make networking less intimidating even for introverts
  • The critical importance of being present and genuinely engaged in building relationships
  • How self-awareness makes connecting with others easier (and why it’s okay not to connect with everyone)
  • The role that reading and being a role model for learning plays in personal growth
  • Why it’s normal for growth to be uneven progress over perfection every time

If you want more from Nick, you can find his book, Crush Your 20s, on Amazon, or check out his podcast, Building the Blueprint, on Spotify and YouTube. And of course, don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for more resources including a free eBook and details about our public speaking course.

Thanks for listening and remember, your voice really does have the power to change the world.

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Tim Newman:

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on a journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today's guest is Nick Batchelder. Nick is on a mission to cultivate a world where less people say I wish I would have done blank in my 20s. He's an author, podcaster and speaker targeting 20-35 year olds looking for a peer perspective in the self-help genre. If you want to learn more about what your peers are going through and how they are tackling issues like speaking with confidence, this is the perfect episode for you. Nick, welcome to the show. You are officially the youngest guest we've had and you can come. You come with intimate knowledge of what people like me are talking about in for people in your generation.

Nick Batchelder:

Tim, thank you for having me. I'm excited. That's an honor 21. Yeah, recently turned 21.

Tim Newman:

Congratulations. You know, I know that's a big milestone. You know I say you're the youngest and it's it's kind of funny because I view myself as being 12.

Nick Batchelder:

Okay, I like it.

Tim Newman:

You know, you know, right before we started, I'd say about an hour ago, you know, my wife is a realtor and she's getting ready to film some content and she was looking for a catchy phrase about something and I immediately started laughing. And she asked what for a catchy phrase about something? And I immediately started laughing and she asked what I was laughing at. I told her and she said how old are you? Cause it was. You know. You know potty. Yeah, you know it's, it's, it's what we do, but but anyway, Playful spirit.

Tim Newman:

Exactly, exactly, but but again I mean you're, you're in the weeds with this thing on what I talk about, especially from confidence in communication. So I also think that you yourself and I mentioned this to you when we spoke I think you're like in the 1% of your generation in what you're doing. You're 21 years old. You already have a book. You've got a podcast that's doing really well. You're 21 years old. You already have a book. You've got a podcast that's doing really well. You're doing public speaking, you're doing some coaching, and that's why I say you're in like the 1%. Now I think your generation is and I told you this is probably the smartest and most entrepreneurial. But where I think your generation falls down is in that communication piece. What do you see amongst your peers from that perspective?

Nick Batchelder:

I agree, I think we have a lot of energy and a lot of passion and I think, ultimately, where we fall short is because of this digital age.

Nick Batchelder:

We're starting to lose that communication piece, and I would say more so, the in-person communication piece. One of the biggest things that I see with my peers is it's never been easier to avoid in-person interaction. If you wanted to right Like, if you really want to like, you can stay inside all day, like you don't need to take class, I can take online classes. I can door dash food to my door, right, I don't have to. I can meet friends on Xbox Like I don't need to go out to the cafeteria or the bars. And so I think what's happened is a lot of people are just reliant on their home life and they have all this energy and they get all this content and they see all this stuff come up on their feed, but they don't actually get the wraps in for like, okay, like, how do I communicate, how do I present myself, how do I feel more confident? And I think it just starts to overwhelm a lot of people.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, so when you talk about it, it overwhelming people. What do you mean by that? Because you know, I think that you know we've this isn't something that I, at least from my perspective. I don't know that that just happened, but where do you think this overwhelm comes from and what does it feel like?

Nick Batchelder:

I think we have way too many options right. There's a really cool study that shows if you go to buy jam right, there's 36 options most people don't buy any jam. If there's three options, like a third of the people bought jam, and I think that's what you see. With social media and just with the digital ages, we can kind of do anything. Right, I could do literally anything and it's so cool and I can see any content I want to do. I can go out and use my time in so many ways I think it's just overwhelming.

Nick Batchelder:

It's like wow, like there's too much to pick from and people kind of shut down a little bit and go you know what. I'm just going to do, what I'm comfortable with. I'm going to do what I know, and a lot of that just depends then on you know how they grew up. If they grew up playing sports and you know playing Xbox, like they're just going to continue to do sports and Xbox. If they grew up you know going out and traveling, they're probably going to do more traveling. So I think a lot of it now is reliant more so on how you grew up, if cause because there's too many options for some people.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, and we'll get back to the jam thing here a little bit. I you referenced that in one of your recent, one of your recent podcasts. Yeah, and I definitely 100 agree with you. There's so many options, so many choices and you know, I, we have that overwhelm and so we, we choose nothing. And you know, I don't know. That's indicative of just your generation. I think that you know that that runs a gamut of everybody, but you know, specifically with, with your generation, you're, you're, you're right, you do have so many different, different things that you can do, different ways that you can actually communicate with people, and the hardest one is that interpersonal. Is that actually talking to somebody that's actually sitting down, having a coffee with somebody that you don't know? You know just trying to get information, you know. So what do you see would be? How can we?

Nick Batchelder:

help people in your generation to kind of get over that hump a little bit. You know, it's really funny that you mentioned being 12 years old, because one of the big things that I've been talking about in coaching recently is playfulness and improv. I think one of the best ways to actually develop confidence and not even be confident, but just to start down this journey is to have more of a mentality of playfulness and more mentality of improv. Because what I found is the more that I can improv in the moment, the more flexibility I have, the more confidence I have. So you know, I'll give you an example.

Nick Batchelder:

When I'm public speaking right, so many people have scripts and I used to do this all the time where I'd have a script and I'd go up and I have like word for word, I know what I'm going to say. But that's really scary because if I get off my script at all, like I'm screwed, I'm dead in the water because I don't know what's coming next. And that's like one of the first public speaking tips I get people is like stop memorizing. You know, practice public speaking and I have an exercise where I hand people a random item, like this glass case, and I have them tell me a story about it, right, and they just have to make up a story for 60 seconds.

Tim Newman:

And you know, I've gotten pretty good at that and what I've noticed is, you know, the better I get at improv and being able to think on my feet, the more confident I am that I can go into any situation and like be okay, right, like okay, I'm going to figure out what to say, I'm gonna figure out what to do. Was there a moment in your life that kind of pushed you into this realm of, let's just say, personal development? Because again, at least from my perspective, I don't think you just woke up a year ago and said I'm going to write a book and I'm going to start being good at communicating, being a public speaker and doing a podcast. Was there something that kind of drove you down this road?

Nick Batchelder:

It was a culmination of a lot of little things. I think when I went to college, that was a big part of it, because I was on my own for the first time and it kind of felt like you know, kind of turning a new leaf, new chapter of my life, and I was like okay, like I want to start this chapter different, and I think it was a combination of one. I want to start this chapter different, and I think it was a combination of one. I was like all right, I have a fresh start. Two, there's a lot of holes that I want to fill.

Nick Batchelder:

I think I had really good awareness. I think I've always had good awareness and I think when I got to college, I was very aware of what I was lacking. I did not have good communication skills, I wasn't very confident, I wasn't good at reading, I wasn't really trying to develop myself, and I think I had just had enough of that and I was like all right, I'm kind of over it and I say third, I just had a lot of good role models. I have a lot of good role models in my family and my, my parents, friends that I've got to grow up around and see them develop. And I'd say that combination of those three kind of came together right when I got to college and was a perfect little storm.

Tim Newman:

So of your peers, how many of them do you think have that? And I'm glad you brought up the whole idea of awareness, because awareness takes on a number of different shapes and sizes and scenarios. How many people in your friend group, in your age group, in your peer group do you think, notice or develop that awareness or have developed that awareness.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, I think it's different because I'd say there's two, like I would say, more than you think have the awareness, just not that many actually act on it. Okay, I would say, you know, I would say probably anywhere from half to two thirds would be my guess that people who have that awareness of you know they need to develop or what they're missing or what they could get better at. And I say the biggest difference is probably only like 20% to 30% are acting on it right or actively going. Okay, like I want to change, or I see this and I feel motivated enough to change, and that can be different. Sometimes something bad enough happens and it motivates you to change. Sometimes you just have a lot of really good people around you that are crushing it and you're going well, if they're doing it, I want to do it Right and it depends on the individual circumstances, but I would say more than you think are aware of it and just not that many are actively acting on it.

Tim Newman:

So what are some of the reasons that they're not acting on? It? Does it run the gamut of? They don't know what to do, they don't know the steps, they don't know who to go to. What are some of the the some of the reasoning behind that?

Nick Batchelder:

I think it's just hard and I think we're just innately lazy creatures. Like, just by our being, like we don't want to do things right, we're going to take the path of least resistance. One of the endeavors I went on for a while was career development help for college students. Okay, I was having a really hard time actually getting people to engage with me outside of the presentations. I'd kind of show up, I'd give the presentation, I'd be like, hey, if you want more help, like reach out to me, I'm here. And no one would reach out and I was like why is this? And it's it's one of those things where it's like there's so many resources out there, for example, with professional development, the school offers resources.

Nick Batchelder:

I was being a resource and people weren't reaching out and and it was ultimately because, one, it's just hard and it takes effort, and two, it's just scary for some people. And so I would say those are the two big things. It's like it's either just too hard and they don't have enough oomph or motivation or accountability to get there, and two, they're just maybe scared.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, that whole idea of being scared of it for whatever reason, right, I mean it could be any number of reasons why they're fearful right. It could be. They don't want to look stupid, they don't want to sound stupid, they don't want to look incompetent. They don't know what they want to do. They don't have direction.

Nick Batchelder:

I mean it know. They don't know what they want to do, they don't have direction.

Tim Newman:

I mean, it could be any number of different things right and I get that's a really big hurdle and a hump and I would say that, you know, from my perspective, that goes for every generation, that goes for every generation. You know, I, I think that there are you're, depending on where you are in life you have those, you have those hurdles, you have those, those, those barriers to success that I think that we, we, we put up ourselves right, because nobody is telling you that you can't do something, or or, if they are, you're not listening to it. Right, you know when you can't do something, or or if they are, you're not listening to it, right? You know, when you don't do something, it's because you're telling yourself that you can't do it, or you don't want to do it, or what have you. And you know that that whole idea of the imposter syndrome, with that internal self-talk, I think, is it's it's more us than society or outside people telling us that we can't do something, where you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, I completely agree, and I think one of the other factors kind of touching on it's easier to avoid people than ever is I think my generation has just been tested less right. Like we're not, we weren't like as kids, like sent out onto the street to play and go figure things out and be all independent, right. I think that's part of it too. Like we just had less experiences where we've had to put ourselves out there and face fearful things for a lot of people and I think that's starting to catch up to you when you get older. Like all right, now's the time you don't have anyone to look after you, like you have to go do the scary thing, whether you want to or not. I think just takes a long.

Tim Newman:

It takes longer for some people because maybe they didn't have that experience growing up yeah, you're so right and um, you know when, when you look at the differences in generations I mean I didn't talk about your generation, my generation, because it's it's a that's a huge difference, right, because we, we were the generation that we're told to go away, to go outside and play, and you better just come back when it gets. You know, when the streetlights come on, and I don't really care what happens in between, they just don't get arrested or get hurt. And you know, and now you know, young people today, they're so structured they're never not supervised by somebody, right? Whether it's a teacher, whether it's a parent, whether it's a babysitter or whatever it is, they're supervised and very, very structured. There's no just free playtime either.

Nick Batchelder:

I think the most freedom I had growing up was I rode my bike to school for a couple of years, right. I think we were like literally a minute from school, right. Like that experience. That experience was great and I loved it yeah.

Tim Newman:

That's just what the times are, kind of going away, yeah, and you know for you know, for many reasons, you know it's, I mean it's. I'm not saying that it's it's all bad that things are like that, but there are consequences for everything, right, both good and bad. It doesn't matter what we choose or what we do or what we don't do. There's both good and bad consequences to that. How have your peers reacted to you in things you're doing and in your success? Because you know, again they've got to see you and say wow.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, yeah, I would say 90% of it has been very, very nice feedback. Yeah, everyone's, everyone's very kind, especially when they when they hear about like oh, like you revoke your 21. Like that's very. I get a lot of positive feedback like that and I do really appreciate it.

Nick Batchelder:

And that was one of the biggest fears too, of writing something like that and putting that out into the world of like wow, like one, like everyone's going to go okay, how is this going to be received? But I think I thought about it a little longer. Just because I'm in college, I'm in this kind of bubble where, like everyone I know is going to know about it, right, and like there's just everyone's attached in so many more ways than they would be when I'm out in the real world and so, like I was like all right if I do this, like everyone's going to know about it. You know, everything that I write in here is public knowledge. Now, that was really scary but thankfully, everyone you know I'd say 90% of feedback I get is great, 90% of feedback I get is great and 10% is hate stuff that I could care less about and that I don't even read Right.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, you know it's, it's.

Tim Newman:

It's kind of funny in a way.

Tim Newman:

You know, I I look at things like this that you know, when you, when you look at feedback like that, you know you take the really good stuff, the outlier good stuff and the bad stuff and you throw that away because it's either these people really love you and they're going to say great things about you it doesn't matter what you do, right, I mean, you could what doesn't really matter and it's great, I'm not discounting that at all but in terms of in terms of personal growth, sometimes that's not very helpful, right? And then you take the other side. That's bad, it doesn't matter what you say or do, and the comments are just not helpful at all. And then if you focus on, you know, those things that are in between, that's where I think you're going to get the best feedback to be able to go and improve on whatever it is that you're doing. Either wow, keep doing this, because this seems to be working, or maybe work on this over here, make some of these tweaks, and that's that's how we're going to get better.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, no, I love that you said that and that's actually something I use for like my physical appearance, sometimes with confidence, is that's one of like the biggest things, especially with young people, and that I deal with all the time. Like okay, like how do I look? Like I want to like look in the morning. Or sometimes I'm like, ah, I don't feel like I look great and I I genuinely tell myself I'll be like on days where I feel like I look great, I'm like, hey, like you don't look quite as good as you think, and on days when I look bad, I'm like, hey, you don't look quite as bad.

Tim Newman:

There to me is something that I don't know, that I'll ever understand. It's probably just because this is just my face and this is how I look.

Tim Newman:

I mean, there's not a lot you could do with this face right. But you know, what your generation does is put so much effort, emphasis on how you look and what other people think that you, how other people view you and how you look and what other people think that you look, how, how other people view you and how you look and what you do, when, especially from the digital perspective, 99 of these people don't know you. Yeah, and we put so much of our of who we are into, what people who don't even know whose opinion yeah, it's funny you mentioned that I was having.

Nick Batchelder:

I was talking about this on one of my recent podcast episodes. We were talking about like Instagram and I was. I was really reflecting on like how my main Instagram page is like so fake, cause I would cause, now that I have I have two Instagram pages, right, I have my professional one and then I have like my my me one, and I was reflecting on it. I was like, wow, like the content that I post on my professional one and then I have like my my me one and I was reflecting on it. I was like, wow, like the content that I post on my professional one, I would never post on my other one, cause it's like too vulnerable, it's too real, it's too me, right, like the other one is really just like. Hey, here are my highlights, here's what I want you to think about me, and when I, when I started both the second account, I really saw like how fake the other one was. I'm like, wow, this really isn't me at all.

Tim Newman:

Well, let's, let's actually get into that, because that was, that was you know, recent episode and, and I think that was with Chrissy.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, chrissy Desmond yeah.

Tim Newman:

Okay, and you know there was a lot of really good points in there that you talked about. You know that being one of them, and you know, I don't know, and you know, I don't know, I think she I thought she brought up some really good points to say that that really wasn't fake for you. It's just different because, because there's a, there's a professional Nick, right, and then there's the regular Nick, the the the, the, the personal Nick and there's.

Tim Newman:

You know, there are some similarities there and obviously, obviously you're not going to post things, some things on a professional account that you would be posting on a personal account. Now I've got different thoughts on that, but that's not what this conversation is about. But you know, you're building a professional brand and it's still you, it still has the undertones of you, right, and you're not posting anything that you don't truly think or feel. It's just done in a different, more professional way.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, no, I'm actually glad you called me out there, cause I actually think you're right and I forgot. Chris, you brought up that point and you're you're, you're, definitely right. It is actually. It is a different side of me. It's the more fun, relaxed side of me and it's definitely less vulnerable. But that doesn't mean it's not necessarily me, right.

Tim Newman:

And Good point. But so if we, as just on a regular, you know general topics, if we could understand that, how much better would we be, you know, especially from that younger generation. So, like you know, for me I do now have a actually the only, the only separate professional account that I have is on Instagram. That's the only one. Everything else is all it's just me. It's either personal or professional, depending on what I'm posting, and the only reason why I had that one on Instagram is because I did not want to mix, you know, some of my other ventures, like my golf stuff. I did not want that involved in the speaking with confidence stuff, because I didn't want to confuse people in that manner. But essentially, the tone is still the same. The content may be a little bit different, but the tone and who I come across as, I think, is still the same, because I think it doesn't matter. Even though we are living in such a digital world, we still want to be seen as human, which builds even more trust.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, you're right, and as I start to think about it more, I think the biggest reason I have the different accounts is just the people I want seeing it. Actually, I think it's more so. Just I have the personal account because I have a select few people I'm like these are the people that I want to post this to Like this is who this is meant for, right, and I think that's actually maybe even the biggest factor there.

Tim Newman:

Yeah for Right, and I think that's actually maybe even the biggest factor there. Yeah, yeah, you know a couple of other things I wanted to bring up in that episode. You know you you talked about you were in class and you had a, a CEO of a bank who came in who gave a presentation, and he was really, really nervous and it was obvious that he was nervous. And then you wanted to ask a question, but you were nervous about asking the question and and I thought that was really really good and and and.

Tim Newman:

Things to think about here is it doesn't matter where you are in life, speaking in public is is not easy and just putting yourself out there and yeah, and yeah.

Nick Batchelder:

I think that's. That's one of the biggest things. Misconceptions that I see is like people are like all right, like one day I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be confident. It's like that's not how that works, it's not how it works.

Nick Batchelder:

It's not how it works.

Nick Batchelder:

Some days you're a two, some days you're a six, some days you're a nine.

Nick Batchelder:

And the reality is like the people are really good at confidence, are good at just getting themselves from like a two to a six on a bad day, or six to a nine on a bad you know okay day, and then, like staying at a nine on a great day, right, like you just have to have tools in the toolbox to help you kind of get yourself up a little bit higher than you kind of naturally are.

Nick Batchelder:

Because every day I'm different, right. Like right now I'm feeling pretty good, I'm I would say I'm like an eight, and you know, last weekend I was so tired and I rolled to bed I wasn't feeling good, I was probably like a three. I'm like I'm staying inside today, right, and you just have to like kind of battle that and know like it's just a journey and it's never going to be a 10 out of 10. And I think it's more fun that way, because I think life would be boring if we just found we had these skills and then we got to keep them at a perfect level forever. Like it's more fun to develop them.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, yeah, and it's, it's. So. This past weekend I had to, I had to do a recording and I don't. I kept telling my wife I said I've got to get this done this weekend, I have to do it this weekend, I have to do it this weekend.

Tim Newman:

And Saturday afternoon she said you're not doing today because I'm looking at you and there's no way that you're going to be able to do it and come across the way that I know you want to come across. And I said, seriously, you're really going to say that to me. But she was right and I mean, I could have gone through the motions and I could have done the fake confidence, I could have done the fake smile and everything else. But you know, especially when you're doing it on camera, right and one, it's going to come across because it's there for forever and you post it's there for forever, right. And it's very different if now I'm going to a networking event and I've got to go and do those things, I've got to do whatever I need to do to to get out of that funk, to get out of that, that, that mindset because again, let's talk about mindset here in a second. But but to get out of that mindset and get into the professional mindset of building and making connections Right.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a. It's an interesting balance of taking care of yourself when you're really not feeling it and also knowing like hey, this is a moment I need to push through and really develop yourself. And the more you do it, the better you get at finding the distinction of like okay, this is self-care moment or is this a push through, like strap on your boots moment.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, a ton in how important building network and building personal relationships and connections are and how, how it does take a certain mindset to be able to do that. You can't, you can't go. Let's just say, for example, you can't go to a networking event. You know, hang out up against the wall, you know, have your drink and eat some crackers or cheese or whatever it is, and expect that people are going to come up to you and start building connections. You have to be the one to go out and initiate those things.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, and it applies everywhere. Right, if you're at the bar, a girl's not going to walk up to you. If you're just sitting in the bar in the corner, right. Same with networking. Same with making friends at a club right, if you're joining a club for the first time, you have to go talk to these members. But it's scary and it's new and it's intimidating for a lot of people and you really do have to start taking baby steps to like kind of get used to that and get you know, feel like that's something you're good at and, like we were just saying with public speaking confidence, it's not. It's never going to be super, it's never going to be like the easiest thing ever. I mean, maybe if you do it for the whole, your whole life, I still get nervous all the time about it and I do this all the time yeah, well, I, I hate it, dude, I'm, I'm, I'm an introvert.

Tim Newman:

I mean I would rather poke myself in the eyeballs with a toothpick than go to a networking event.

Nick Batchelder:

And that's just.

Tim Newman:

God's honest truth, I mean. I just I hate doing it. I don't like doing it no-transcript.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, one of the things I've been thinking about is like, okay, like people that go to networking events and like kill it, like why are they killing it? It's like, well, a lot of those people just want to be there and they love it, right, and it's kind of fun for them, right. Like this, the Uber extroverts, right, and so that's been something I've been don't enjoy this, like you got to find ways that you next day, I try and find ways to make it fun. I also just try and find ways to keep it light and, like I mentioned earlier, I like to think of it as a chance to work on my improv and just kind of mess around a little. But I would say the biggest thing that helps me in those situations, that helps me in podcasts like this, this is the first big thing I'm doing with my day, right?

Nick Batchelder:

I think a lot of people would be really nervous about this, like I'm actually not wasn't nervous about this beforehand. I think the biggest reason is just like being present. Yes, you're being really good at being present, okay, because when I'm here in this moment, I'm not thinking about what happens if I say the wrong thing, right. I'm not thinking about mistakes I've made in the past. I'm very present with you right now and it helps make this less scary and more enjoyable.

Tim Newman:

And and I, you know, I I think that you really kind of nailed, nailed it on a for a number of different things, right? Because if you talk about being present and listening and being engaged right, number one if you're not present, it's obvious. I mean, it is so obvious, especially if you're going to a networking event and you're trying to make a connection, if you're not present and engaged it doesn't matter, right? But you can't build true connection, you can't build true relationships, if you're not willing to be present, if you're not willing to be engaged in the other person's and being interested in them. And it comes across, it shows on your face.

Tim Newman:

You know the one thing that and this bothers me across the board, I don't care who it is when you're having a conversation with somebody and you hear the phone go off, and the first thing they do is they, they stop and they look at the phone. You know to me, okay, why am I bothering? You know and again, I'm not saying that I'm perfect in this, I'm in no way shape or form, right, but when you're having a conversation with somebody, when you're other people, unless somebody's head's falling off, that phone should be the last thing on your mind. You should be so involved in that, and if you're not involved in it, then step back from that, step back and step away so that you're not coming across as unengaged, uninterested. You're not coming across as unengaged, uninterested.

Nick Batchelder:

I mean, there's so much to the whole idea of the personal interactions that technology takes away from. Yeah, for anyone listening who's like man, I don't feel like I'm that charismatic. I don't feel like I'm that cool. I don't feel like people like me. When I'm at these events, I feel like I'm always nervous. I like to tell people it's the easiest it's ever been to be the most charismatic person in the room. Like people are distracted, people are not engaged, people are not good at reading body language, people are not good at being authentic, right, like, it's actually so easy nowadays to like come off as like wow, this dude is confident and charismatic and it's. It's as simple as you're engaged, your body language is facing somebody, you're leaning in when they're saying something interesting, right, you're with that person and people really pick up on that, because it's very it's rare in a lot of settings today.

Tim Newman:

It really, truly is. There are so many things that you can do, like you just said, to show engagement to. For people like me again, who's an introvert, who doesn't like doing these things that you know you can do and still be successful, asking questions, showing interest, you know. And one thing you talked about awareness, but awareness about who you are as an individual, right, because you can't really build connection true, real connections with other people if you don't know who you are as an individual.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, and the more you know who you are, the easier it is, because the more you're okay with going, hey, I'm not for you or we're not for each other, right, like we're not a match, like that was something that was a game changer for me, especially with the social media content where I go, okay, like if, if I go to meet this person and we don't you know we're not matching, or like it's just not working, it's kind of awkward, my first reaction isn't oh, no-transcript, that's natural and that gives you a lot of inner confidence. You're like, hey, like, this is who I am and I know it, and I'm looking for people who are such a good point that you know somebody and again, don't take this the wrong way Somebody your age has already figured that out, right?

Tim Newman:

Because there are so many people that are so much older than you that have never figured that out. And that only comes from, from doing the work on yourself, knowing who you are, knowing who you are as an individual, what your values are, what your core values are, what you like, what you don't like, what you want, what you don't want, what you're looking for, the directions you want to go and understand some of those things in life are going to change. But if you don't feel that and don't know those things, as those other things are changing again, you're never really going to true connection yeah, one of my favorite favorite things I get you know a little.

Nick Batchelder:

One of my favorite things is like sometimes I'll be in the living room and I'll just be sitting on the couch and I'll just be like I'll have no devices on me, I'll just be thinking about stuff. Right, my roommates to come in, I'd be like are you okay? Like are you depressed? Like what's going on? I'm like, I'm like no, I'm just thinking. And I was like I think it's so funny, like I don't, I don't. I know very few other like people this age that just like sit around and think, and I think that's a big part of it too.

Nick Batchelder:

Like the more time you spend with yourself, the more, the more confident you get, I think is a big and just thinking about things that you find curious too, and just you know, working your mind and getting it sharper and all that stuff, just all the, all those little things accumulate, right, it's never one big thing, right, it's always a little bit of x, a little bit of y, a little bit of z, and a lot of people nowadays are like all right, give me the big fix.

Nick Batchelder:

Like what's, give me the thing? What's the one thing I need? Easy fix. They want something. What's the one thing I need? Yeah, and it's. That's just not how it goes. And and, like you mentioned, like a lot of people in their 40s and 50s and maybe 60s, like don't even know this yet. Yeah, and that's one of them. That's why my mission statement is like, hey, like I want to teach people now, because think about the kind of change you can make once you have that right. Like so many doors open up and I'm going to have so many more options in life because I have it at 21. And if I had learned it at 41, and my goal is to get that into as many people as possible and that, hopefully, being a peer to listen to me a little more than you know, 50 year old, telling them and and and, and I'm with you.

Tim Newman:

I hope they do too. And that's that's also why it's so important, at least from my perspective, that you're doing this, because you know I could tell them a thousand times, right. And then you come in, you say the exact same words in the exact same language. Exact same words, exact same phrase, exact same tone. And you touch them where if I do it, it's over their head, for whatever reason.

Tim Newman:

And you know whatever it takes to get through, to get people to, and I and I say that like it's a bad thing to get through to them, you know, but that's not what. That's not exactly what I mean. It's like. It's like you're in trouble. I'm trying to get through to you, but that's not exactly what I'm talking about. But it's whatever's going to. Going to resonate with somebody is really all that matters to me. I don't care who says it, I don't care who, who, who does it, but as long as you get it from somewhere and you hear it from somebody that these are the things I need to be doing or I should be doing, that's all I care about.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, I mean that's part of the reason you have guests on a podcast, right, it's like let's get all these different perspectives and cause I? I mean you know so much of this already, um, but it's, it's easier for your audience when they hear it from different people and different perspectives and they hear similar ideas across people who don't know each other. Right, and you're like, okay, that has some more validity then. And yeah, I think part of the reason too people listening, people my age, listen to me a little more is like after this call, I got econ homework and then I'm going to office hours, right, right, and then I like it's, I'm still a normal college student. I just have a bit of this as well.

Tim Newman:

You know, and it's it's. It's funny you say that that that's what you're doing. I mean, I don't know how you find time to do all these things. And you know, one of the things that you said to me when we did our pre-interview talk is that you read a lot of books, which to me is great. I mean, I think, of the things that really move us forward are, to me, some of the most important are reading books and asking questions. Reading books and asking questions I think two are two of the two of the biggest things that move us forward and to find somebody again and I say I don't want this to sound bad because I'm not putting your generation, but one problem that I have with your generation is you don't like to read, you don't or you don't read.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, don't read at all. No, I try and give my, I try and give my friends books all the time they won't read it.

Tim Newman:

So how can we change that? Because I think that's a, that's a, that's a big, that's a big hurdle.

Nick Batchelder:

The big hurdle and you can't just hand someone a book and tell them the read. I've tried that. It doesn't work. My philosophy Well, I have two things that I'm trying right now to do that the biggest one is I'm trying to be a role model. So when people go, hey, like how can I be like you? It's like well, you got to read. That's one of the core things I do. Right, like that's you know, if you're, if your role model is, you know, if your role model tells you that this is what they do, like you're, you're more likely to do it. So that's, that's part of it. It's just being a good example. And then a lot of like the content that I create. Like the book that I wrote was about, it was trying to make it as easy as possible for people to read, like I'll show you, for example, this is, you know, rick Rubin.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, I don't know the name.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, I love Rick Rubin. Anyway, this is his book. Right, love this book and like I tell people to read it, people won't read it. Right, like my, that's mine. Right, Like that's part of it too is like I'm like all right, first off, let me try and be a role model. And also like how can I make this the easiest possible for you? Like this, my book's like 80 pages. It's so many examples, it's super. Okay, I'm going to make this as easy as possible for you. And then also like hey, if you want to do what I'm doing, you got to read, but it's a tricky one and I'm still working on it.

Tim Newman:

Yeah, and it's. I like the fact that you wrote a book for people that don't like to read.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah.

Tim Newman:

Yeah.

Tim Newman:

I like to Like you said, you make it easy for for them, much easier for them, to read to. You know, and I think part of it is and I'm glad you made you made that visual, the. It's our attention spans, right, um, and a lot of that has to do with with technology and so forth, not to get too much too far down down the field than that, but it's our attention span, is is part of it, and if you have something like you said, that's an easy read, that's shorter and to the point, that does that is something that is is theoretically helpful.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, and the well. The first step is always the hardest, right, like you see so many people. They're like I won't watch, I'm not going to watch a movie, that's too long. And then they end up watching eight episodes of a TV show. Right, it's like, well, why do they do that? It's like well, the 30 minutes seems more appealing to them than the two hours. So like, okay, I'll do the 30 minutes.

Tim Newman:

Right.

Nick Batchelder:

And then they end up watching more anyway. And so, like just having a visual book, that's like this thin versus this thick, you're like, okay, I can get through that. It like committing to things is a big thing right now. It's like people do not want to commit to things and making things as as minimal, the commitment as possible as big and I was joking with my dad, I was like how good of a businessman am I that I wrote a book for people who don't like to read? Right, but it's a, it's a fun challenge and it's that's the audience it's meant for and we'll we'll help the most.

Tim Newman:

But the book has been well received. Yeah, yes, it has. So, and let's go back to some of the comments. You know the reviews on Amazon. They're all really good, except for one, and I think the one is a spoof. I read it. I think the one is just some, you know some troll trying to be funny.

Nick Batchelder:

You know it's funny, as I know exactly who wrote that. Do you really? It's my ex-girlfriend's little brother's friend, I see, don't, okay, yeah, but yeah, literally I saw that. I was like I was reading that. It was like his financial tips are terrible. I was like I didn't leave any financial tips. I was like what? And I was like I was texting some people. I was like, oh okay, there we go. I was like so it's, it's just part of it. But I was, I was, I actually liked it better. I was like I kind of like 4.8 stars better than five. I was like it makes it seem more real. You know, well, you know, I, I'm really.

Tim Newman:

I'm really impressed in what you're doing and I know you got to get kind of homework and I'm laughing, but I'm not laughing, it's, it's just. You know, let's just put this way. Let's say you're 23. Okay, when you've done this, okay, you may have a meeting to go to. It's, it's just a different, it's just a different time table, different schedule.

Nick Batchelder:

Yesterday I was doing podcast work, editing, posting good one right and then I had an intramural softball game. That's awesome, that's my life. It's like I'm doing this and then I'm doing softball and I'm doing econ homework and then I'm in a fraternity right and I think that econ homework and then I'm in a fraternity right and like it's, it's. I think I think that really helps with my message because I'm like, hey, like, if I'm 21 years old and I'm doing all this normal stuff that you've all done before, right, and I'm doing this, you can do it too. I, without a doubt, if the 21 year old frat guy can do it, you can do it.

Tim Newman:

Like, trust me, and and then again. To me it comes back to mindset. You know what? What? What's going on up here. You know what is it that you have to? What's that switch to? To make a commitment to get over the hump, whatever it is, because we all have our thing right. It doesn't matter however many billion people in the world. Every single one of us has our own thing that is holding us back, and I don't care who you are, I don't care if you're Tony Robbins, simon Sinek, grant Cardo, I don't care, we all have our thing. That's going on up here and whatever it is that we have to do to get over that, let's let's figure it out sooner rather than later and just just do it.

Nick Batchelder:

Do the thing and everyone knows what that thing is. Right, right, jordan peterson has a good clip where he's like if you sit down and ask yourself what's like, what are the five thing?

Nick Batchelder:

one to five things I need to work on, it's like you know it, you just don't want to look at it right yeah, you're just avoiding it because that's it's going to be hard to face those things exactly, and, and I would say, my one message is to people that are going to start on that path is you don't have to be perfect every day. Yes, right, the idea is like it's split into thirds. A third of the time you're going to have a bad day. It's just's just not gonna work. You're gonna revert to your old habits. You're not gonna make any progress.

Nick Batchelder:

A third of the time it should be going pretty good, like you made some good progress, you felt, like you did a decent job. Maybe you didn't kill it, but it was good. And a third of the time it should be great. Like man I killed today, right, like that's natural progression of like it's not gonna be good, good, good, good, it's to be good, great, great, bad, good, bad, great, great, good, right, like that's just what happens. I think a lot of people are like, oh, it has to be great, and then, if it's not great, why even bother? That's just not how that works. It's not how it works. Don't, don't be too hard on yourself if you have a bad day right guys.

Tim Newman:

I tell people progress over perfection because consistency is key. The more you do something, the easier. I'm not saying the better you get. The more you do something, the easier it gets. You have to actually do, you know, be willing to grow to, to be better, right. The more you do things, the easier it gets. So, um, just start doing the thing. Just start whatever it is, get over it and and you know and you're gonna be fine yeah, yeah.

Nick Batchelder:

But problems don't get easier. We just get better at dealing with them oh, just just wait.

Tim Newman:

They know they trust me, they don't I'm sure that's why I'm still 12 that's why it's easier.

Nick Batchelder:

That way, right, it's more fun. That way it's much easier.

Tim Newman:

It's much easier. You know I tell. I tell people all the time you know I'm doing great, unless you tell me otherwise. If you tell me I got other things, I gotta worry about then. Then I'll start worrying about other than that. I'm doing great. I love that, so it's awesome. But, nick, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. I really do appreciate the insight. You know know you're doing great things. Where can people find you? Where can they buy your book? All the good stuff.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah, so you can buy the book on Amazon. Just look up crusher twenties and you can find my podcast building the blueprint on YouTube or Spotify. And if you get confused about any of that, just look up Nick Batchelder on the internet and my website will come up and you can find all the good stuff and the Nick Batchel there on all socials.

Tim Newman:

And it does come up. You've got a great website. Your podcasts go great. I love the topics. Before I sign off again, because I've always got one more thing.

Nick Batchelder:

I could talk forever.

Tim Newman:

But as an introvert keep that in mind I love the topics and I love what you're doing, especially for somebody like me. You know we've talked. I think it's incumbent upon us, as the older generations, to figure out what's going on with the younger generation so that we can have stronger relationships and stronger connections and stronger communications. And you know there's a couple of really good podcasts out there. That mix kind of what I'm doing. But you know what you're doing is great because you're talking to your peers and we're hearing from their mouth what's going on in their life, what they think, how they're reacting, what their mindset is right. It's so important and I think if we're going to move forward as a society, we have to bring our generations together more to understand each other so that we can actually work together better. I appreciate that and I completely agree to understand each other so that we can can actually work together better.

Nick Batchelder:

I, I appreciate that and I, I completely agree. And, yeah, my whole goal is relatable curiosity with the podcast. It's like, hey, you know, self-help is great, but I want to bring but everyone who does it is, you know, no offense like 30 to 50 or 60. Right, and it's like all right, let's bring a more pure perspective. And I want, I want people who maybe go, oh, like that's not my thing, like personal growth's not my thing, to be like all right, hey, come on, it's gonna be fun, it's gonna be a little more, you know, silly, and then we're gonna also have this bit of personal growth. So you get a bit of both and and introduce more people. So it kind of be a stepping stone right into this world. So people kind of get into it and then go, oh, like, I really want to work on my confidence. Oh, I know tim has a great confidence podcast, let me check that out, right but you know I, I get, I appreciate it.

Tim Newman:

So do you have? Is that some of the conversation you have with getting your guests on?

Nick Batchelder:

um, that, what do you mean? Like that they're not interested, yeah, and like self-help stuff, uh, no, no, I mean not particularly. I don't like ask them that, but I, I mean I really don't know anyone else who's as interested in this stuff. I know I could count on my, on my hands how many people I know that are interested in this personal development stuff in the same way that I am right, and so, uh, I've had part of it. I had a couple of those people on, but most of it is just, you know, they're like it's just, it's just a foreign world to them. They're like that's a thing for 30 and 40 and 50 year olds to do, that's not a thing for 20 year olds to do.

Tim Newman:

I've got time, it doesn't matter, it's like oh, let's do it now so you can utilize the time. But that's what makes our point.

Nick Batchelder:

Yeah.

Tim Newman:

Now is the time.

Nick Batchelder:

Now's the time. You can utilize the time and have way more options and way more fun with the time if you prepare yourself now. But that's not the easy thing to do.

Tim Newman:

Exactly Well again, nick. Again, thanks so much for your time. I do appreciate it. You take care and we'll talk to you soon.

Nick Batchelder:

Absolutely.

Tim Newman:

Thanks for having me, tim. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free e-book Top Tool and Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome it. You can also register for the Forum for Public Speaking. Always remember your voice has the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time, take care.

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Tim Newman

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