Mirroring and Labeling: Essential Interview Tools | Tim Newman Speaks

Have you ever wondered why some interviewers can draw out powerful, authentic stories from their guests, while others get nothing but surface-level, forgettable responses? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into the art and science of interviewing not as the one answering questions, but as the one skillfully guiding the conversation.

As your host, Tim Newman, a former college professor turned communication coach, I take you behind the scenes to reveal how top interviewers turn every exchange into a meaningful dialogue. While I typically invite guests onto the show, today it’s just you and me, focusing on a transformative communication technique that can immediately elevate your interviewing skills, whether you’re creating content, leading teams, or deepening everyday conversations.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped to:

• Use the mirroring technique to draw out richer, more authentic responses
• Combine mirroring with careful labeling to acknowledge and explore emotional undercurrents
• Pause intentionally to give your guest space and show you’re listening
• Avoid presumptive labeling and instead use safe, observation-based language
• Adjust your approach for virtual interviews, from camera placement to audio checks and bridging gaps during technical hiccups
• Practice with concrete phrases and real-life scenarios so you can implement these tools right away

I challenge you to try mirroring and labeling in your next conversation, and notice the difference it makes. Share your observations with us. Progress over perfection is the goal.

And don’t forget, you can grab my free ebook, “Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them”, or sign up for my Formula for Public Speaking course at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. As always, remember: your voice is power. Keep practicing, keep growing, and I’ll see you next time!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Podcast Introduction
• 1:09 The Power of Mirroring Technique
• 2:40 Combining Mirroring with Emotion Labeling
• 4:54 Adapting Interview Techniques Online
• 9:10 Practical Implementation and Closing

Transcript

Tim Newman: 0:08

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results Communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on a journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Thank you so much for supporting the shows. We have listeners in 143 countries and 2,709 cities across the world, so please continue to share, like and subscribe to the podcast so we can continue to encourage people to speak with confidence.

Tim Newman: 0:44

I've talked about interviews and starting conversations in the past. Before every podcast, when I have a guest, we always have a brief call. A week or more before the actual interview, we talk about the direction of the show and what value the guest will bring to you, our audience. On interview day, I do not have scripted questions because I want the interview to be more conversational. Today, I'm going to talk about interviews from the standpoint of you being the interviewer, not the interviewee. This is a function of preparation and research, and the techniques I'm going to show you you can start using today. So why don't interviewers like Joe Rogan or Tim Ferriss draw out memorable, deeply personal stories, while others get flattened, forgettable answers. Much of it comes down to how they open the conversation. The first question sets the tone. It signals safety and determines whether the guest will hold back or engage fully. And today we're focusing on a simple but powerful tool used by leading interviewers and negotiation trainers, which is called the mirroring technique. You'll see exactly how it works, the precise words to use and how a small shift can turn guarded replies into authentic, revealing answers. So let's start with an example.

Tim Newman: 2:02

In FBI negotiation training, mirroring is a core rapport-building skill. Picture a negotiator responding to I just need to be heard with a calm, upward tone you just need to be heard. This Chris Voss-style prompt subtly invites the other person to keep talking. Now contrast that with a journalist who interrupts mid-sentence. One approach draws the speaker in, the other can cause them to pull back. And mirroring isn't just parroting entire sentences, it's echoing the last three to five words or a key phrase with a slight rise in tone. So it becomes a general question.

Tim Newman: 2:47

If your guest says we struggled during the product launch, you might mirror during the product launch. That signal tells them you're tracking closely and, more importantly, it opens up space for them to elaborate. One thing to avoid is robotic repetition. Make your mirror words sound conversational and match the guest's pace and delivery. Research on rapport and elicitation shows mirroring activates reciprocity and helps people feel understood, and experiments on trust-building show that perceived trustworthiness and reciprocal gestures increase willingness to disclose worthiness and reciprocal gestures increase willingness to disclose. The simple act of reflecting someone's words back to them can shift the dynamic from guarded to cooperative. To make this shift happen, pause noticeably after you mirror. Hold the silence long enough that the guest has room to continue. It's that quiet moment often draws out layers they hadn't planned to share to begin with. Support it with non-verbal cues like a slight head tilt or raised eyebrows to show you expect more. Here are some quick phrasing templates. If the guest says it was a turning point for our team, you would say a turning point. If a guest says I've never told this story before, you would say never told this story before.

Tim Newman: 4:12

When you add labeling to mirroring, start safely. Use opens like it seems like, or it looks like or you seem, followed by a neutral descriptor such as frustrated or passionate or hesitant. This lets you acknowledge emotion without making any risky assumptions. If you miss the mark, you can always say I might be wrong. Help me understand. And once you've mastered Marion's rhythm, you're ready to combine it with emotion labeling to uncover what's beneath the surface, and that's where the conversation can shift in powerful ways.

Tim Newman: 4:54

Picture this your guest is sitting across from you holding back tears. You say it seems like this memory still carries a lot of weight for you. That's labeling saying what you observe in their words or body language and it's a proven rapport tool used in negotiation and investigation interviewing. You're not repeating their words. You're naming the emotion you can reasonably infer from what you're seeing or hearing. Here's where many interviewers slip Presumptive labeling and that's when you assign an emotion as fact, such as be devastated. That's risky because it boxes them in observation. Labeling is different. It reflects what you've observed. It seems like that topic brings up some frustration. Did I read that right? This seems like, or it looks like, preface keeps it safe and allows the other person to steer the emotional definition.

Tim Newman: 6:03

Start with neutral labels Tense, hesitant, conflicted, proud or thoughtful that don't actually push the guest into a defensive position. If you miss, you can use a simple recovery line. I might be wrong. Help me understand. Acknowledging their correction shows you're listening and willing to adjust For the strongest results. Mirror first to reflect the fact, then label the emotion connected to it. Research in FBI rapport training shows that ordering matters. Facts open the door. Feelings invite deeper explanation.

Tim Newman: 6:44

One tight sequence to practice is number one. Mirror the last few words no-transcript. Here's how it plays out. The guest says we nearly went bankrupt. You Nearly went bankrupt, with a pause. It seems like that was a high-pressure time. Did I get that right? When you combine Miriam's prompts with labeling's acknowledgement, you give your guest space to expand beyond the surface. Over time you'll start spotting the small cues, a change in tone or a shift in posture that tell you when to apply the sequence. And once you can read those clues clearly, the next challenge is making sure the same approach works even when you're not in the same room.

Tim Newman: 7:44

Most interviewers treat virtual conversations like in-person ones and that's why they risk losing connection early. Remember the rules shift online. If you miss those adjustments then your guests may close off. Get them right and the exchange can feel just as rich. First, slow your pace when nearing Latency. Online can cut people off if you respond too quickly. So leave a slightly longer pause than you would in person. That extra space helps prevent overlap and signals that you're listening. Second, position your webcam at eye level, with chest-up framing and a touch of headroom, so when you nod or tilt your head it feels natural and clear to the person on the other side.

Tim Newman: 8:33

When video freezes switch from visual mirroring to verbal cues, short acknowledgments like I'm following or go on, keep the conversation moving and reassure your guests that you're still engaged. If bandwidth is unstable, supplement labeling with a quick message in chat, for example. That sounds like a turning point to maintain the emotional thread. Before you start, run a brief test call to check audio, video and connection quality. This preparation allows you to focus fully on the conversation instead of troubleshooting mid-interview. Reduce technical distractions by silencing notifications, closing bandwidth-heavy apps and using a wired internet connection if possible.

Tim Newman: 9:15

When mirroring online, speak a little more clearly and slightly slower than usual so keywords aren't lost. To call quality For labeling. Notice the pauses and tone shifts that are still visible or audible on video and name them gently. I noticed you paused Seems like this brings up mixed feelings. If a freeze happens at a reflected moment, you can address it directly. Your video froze. Were you thinking about how to phrase that? This turns a glitch into an opportunity for depth thinking about how to phrase that. This turns a glitch into an opportunity for depth.

Tim Newman: 9:56

A useful preparation step is to have three anchor phrases ready, such as let me reflect that back, or sounds like, and then give the summary. And what I'm hearing is, and then explain. These work as bridges during lag or awkward gaps and before a real interview, do a short practice session with a colleague on the same platform to rehearse mirroring and labeling at a digital pace, and when you integrate these adjustments, virtual interviews can carry the same level of connection as face-to-face ones, giving you all the benefits of rapport even through a screen and setting you up to link every technique into a seamless conversation. This is a move top interviewers and negotiation trainers use consistently because it reliably opens space for more detail. Mirroring helps invite expansion, labeling surfaces the emotional layer and adapting your pacing online keeps both working in virtual settings. Try this small experiment in your next conversation Mirror the last three words they say pause.

Tim Newman: 10:58

Then label what you observe with a neutral seems like or it looks like and see if they expand or correct. Note the difference and share one sentence in the comments about what changed. It's a simple way to practice these tools and track your own results. Remember we're looking for progress, not perfection. That's all for today. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free e-book the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome them. You can also register for the Forum for Public Speaking. Always remember your voice is the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time, take care.